True friends

Trying and failing again at swerving the conversation from centring on me, I take a minute to look - more like survey the people passing judgement ruthlessly on me and my past actions. Isn't it funny how you become the topic of discussion but are never really allowed to say anything for yourself in self-defense especially? Scanning their faces closely in a bid to be able to read the emotions on their faces, all I notice is warmth and affection - sheer fondness and a smile playing around the corners of their eyes, even the one who has his mouth twisted in an angry knot. Oh, I forgot to mention who they are. They are people who I'd like to call Friends not for lack of a definitive word to describe them but because they're friends to me in the truest sense of the word.

credits: Mindthinks

So, how would you know if a person is actually your friend and has only good intentions towards your friendship? Is it by the number of years you've spent together or by how much you have in common? Or how comfortable you are in their presence? Perhaps, how trustworthy, solid and reliable they appear and how easy it is for you to confide in them? Some people would prefer someone who would paint the truth in fancy lines to make you feel better about yourself, while others would rather have friends who are blunt and criticize their actions, rarely complimenting them. I'd prefer the latter, I like being charged to do better.

"Birds of a feather...", they say, "...flock together." This proverb usually comes to play when choosing friends, but there are occasions which are in rarity when you go for someone who is the polar opposite of you, probably to spice up your social circle if you're the type that can handle more than one friend at a time. Yes, some people can't. And try not to confuse acquaintances and colleagues for friends.

Colleagues are mainly departmental, level or school mates that you only get to see or converse with in school generally about school-related topics while acquaintances are just - like I refer to them as, "hi" and "bye" people. Lol, but really acquaintances are people who you just share a common interest and are restricted to only a part of your life. Unlike with friends, you do not feel a sense of connection or feel free discussing problems or sharing ideas with acquaintances. Also, the bond of friendship that is usually maintained till adulthood is lacking in acquaintances. But, this doesn't mean all friendships last till forever.

How many of us still have the same best friend(s) that we had in primary or secondary school? Granted, tertiary institutions might have taken you guys miles apart, but with the level of technological advancement, you can almost feel someone's virtual presence even if the person is continents away. Yes, there are platforms for video-chatting and an example is Skype. With the advent of the internet, it ought to be impossible not to be able to sustain a really solid and valued friendship. So, what went wrong with that old, beautiful friendship of yours? Find it and fix it. Old friends are pure gold!

Acquaintances can end up as friends especially if the areas of common interest are many. A lot of friendships grew out from the acquaintance stage. Making friends is one thing, keeping the friends is a herculean task on its own. Another issue to consider is how difficult it is for some people to make friends, and how naturally making friends comes to others.

An important thing to bear in mind is that being one's self will attract friends that'll stay for good, while working too hard to be who you're not in order to impress someone and win the person's friendship which might be short-lived because the person will definitely discover you're a fraud. Besides being caught, it's cheapening and shows desperation to be favoured in one's sight. If the person doesn't appreciate you for the unique being that you are, let go of the dream of a possible friendship between that person and move on. You'll meet great people who'll accept and love you for who you are, I assure you.

True friendship is unconditional and not exploitative. It's no money-making venture or fall back plan from depression or boredom. True friends are there during the storms and sunshine, they share you sorrows and joys, happiness and sadness. Help you out of difficult situations and love you boundlessly! Friends are for life, not for a particular phase of life. Keep an open mind when making friends, don't work too hard on it. Cheers to those friends who've been there for us all the way. Friends are keepers! Friends for life!

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